P is for Peter


Synopsis of  “HOW THE WEST WASN’T WON”.


“How The West....” is a parody of the traditional ‘Cowboy’ Musicals, which sends up many familiar ‘western’ characters, and mimics the songs of Oklahoma, Annie Get Your Gun and Calamity Jane. It should, on no account, be taken seriously, and should be performed by  companies who are STRONG on comedy and pantomime. It also borders on the ‘risque’, but is easy to ‘clean’ up, and is very popular with young audiences.


The Bank of Cowpat has been robbed by Doc Vacation and the Half-in-the-Wall Gang, and the Bank manager, Loan-Arranger, calls on the assistance of Camility Jane and the local sheriff, Wyatt Twerp, to set up a posse. Outlaws, Butch Chastity and the Suntan Kid are also peeved, as they intended to rob the bank themselves. They persuade Big Chief Bull-Shitting, and his Injuns to help catch the thieves, and along the way they enlist the help of Sharp shooter Annie Oakleaf.  Annie falls in love with Butch, Camility falls in love with Loan, and there’s alot of other nonsense going on, but in the end, the thieves are caught and everyone lives happily ever after!! Or something like that!


Wyatt Twerp -  The Marshall of the Town of Cow-Pat.

Doc Vacation -  Leader of the 'Half-in-the-Wall Gang'.

Belle -  Proprietress of the Cow-Pat Saloon.

Camility Jane -  An ex-scout for General Custard.

The Loan Arranger -  The local Bank Manager.

Pronto -  His faithful Injun Servant.

Singing Cowboy -  A Singing Cowboy!

Pete -  The Pianer Player.

Big Chief Shitting Bull -  Twin Brother of Sitting Bull.

Broken Feather -   An effeminate Injun.

Minnie Hoho -  Shitting Bull's hippie daughter.

Annie Oakleaf -  A Bit of a Sharp Shooter.

Butch Chastity -  An egotistic Cowboy.

Suntan Kid -  A Wannabe 'Butch'.

Some smaller cameo roles.



The Cowpat Saloon.   Injun Territory.   Somewhere on the range.



Step Into The Cowpat.    Just Blew in from Chicargy. 

Blankets for the Tourists.  Ridin’ On The Range. 

Honky-Tonk Cowboys.    Injun Mumbo-Jumbo. 

Everyone Loves A Hoe-down.    Me.    I Fell A Song Comin’ On.  Never Oklahoma!


BIG production for ‘Injun Mumbo-Jumbo’.    Big Hoe-down.

Lots and lots of  staging for other numbers, comically replicating the well-known songs that they parody.




West Belfast Musical Youth.   Encore Theatre Company, Galway.  Nenagh Choral Society.  EYT Galway. 



"Comedy in the shape of Parody, played with perfect comedic timing. One of the funniest shows I've ever enjoyed."  Adjudicator, Waterford InternationalFestival of Light Opera.

"This was an example of sheer entertainment for entertainment's sake. Nothing intense or pretentious, just fun and laughs and a hilarious sense of the ridiculous." Connacht Tribune.

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